Stilton Striders • Melton Mowbray Running Club

Outruns

The End of Term Run - Rating: 9.999

I have just been on the website and realised that I hadn’t written the concluding episode of this year’s blog. I bet all of you regular readers have been clicking in every day in eager anticipation, wondering how it will all end?

Its a bit like those Schubert fans who are still waiting for the finish of his unfinished symphony but, unlike his fans, you will not be disappointed. I have been doing a bit of research on Schubert who, apparently, was a bit of a joker (as most Germans are!) and he actually wrote nearly all of his unfinished work and hid it in his sock drawer, where he hoped it would be found after he had died. Everyone would think he had been working on it right up to the end and we would all feel sorry that he didn’t have time to finish it (or something like that). The music score was found sometime after his death by his housekeeper, Frauline Sticklegruber, who was looking for old clothes to take to the charity shop. It was tucked away behind his socks and hose, along with a well-thumbed copy of “Composer’s Wives” (a popular magazine of the time amongst those with an artistic bent!). This edition was famous for a shocking drawing of Mrs Handel kissing a pianist, which could be found on Page 15, and was recently sold at auction to a collector in Hamburg for $10,000.

Another person famous for an unfinished work, this time a novel, was Charles Dickens who never completed “Mystery of Edwin Drood”. Charles Dickens, of course, is best remembered for his work “On the oranges of species”, published 150 years ago, which caused great concern in the Christian society. In the book he suggests that man originated from the Gorillas (the hairy apes, not the Gorillaz the popular beat/combo/instrumental group of the early 21st century). He was ridiculed in the sartorial press at the time but was later hailed as a genius when he found the missing link – a tribe of whom can be found in a popular Melton roadside pub 7 days a week. After 150 years he has now been honoured by the Post Office, which put him on some stamps, the BBC have devoted a whole year’s TV time to him and a commemorative tea towel has been exclusively produced by Poundland at the cost of £1.29. I bet this would have been thrilling for him. Dickens also wrote many complete novels including Oliver Twist, Bleak House and David Copperfield, a story about a Victorian magician who makes an elephant disappear and ends up with a world famous glamour model. You wouldn’t want to get that trick mixed up!!

We did have a run but it was such a long time ago I forget what happened. Probably nothing, apart from Tam and “my Julie” taking the wrong route and pretending to be looking at wildlife in the bushes. I trust he is not responsible for route planning in his line of work or, indeed, as a race director. Around 20 (19, in fact) stayed for the gourmet 2 for 1 ready meal offer at the Flying Childers and I think we all enjoyed it.

The final donations for the Air Ambulance were made, giving a grand total of £256.93. A big thank you to everyone who joined in throughout the summer.

The overall result in the GPS Sweep was a draw between Julie, Ian and Michelle (2 each) and numerous others scoring 1 each, including (I may have mentioned it before) Phil, with his first win ever.

A packed out outrun saw a return of the Wreake Challenge, The Club Handicap, No Watch Race, Fancy Dress Night, the End of Term meal and the Buffalo Run. Next year’s events will also include a Team Run and Quiz Night, the return of the Guest outrun, along with a few new venues and its only 30 weeks before we start again!!

Thanks to all of you who answered the occasional questions on the blog, it makes all the thought and effort worthwhile.

And, finally, thanks to (it’s like an Oscar speech with all of these “thank you’s”) Christian for keeping the blog up to date. It’s a wonder he has had the time, what with being a 100%er and all that – I hope he doesn’t disappear like some previous winners.

Signing off until Christmas
Big Leggy

Wymondham Wobbler - Rating: 6 (conservative estimate!)

A miserable, dark. wet evening did not deter 19 Striders from the penultimate Outrun of the season from the Berkeley Arms. Starting off through the village before a left turn across the field to the old railway line - the now overgrown track was another Dr “Hatchet Man” Beeching’s cost-cutting measures. The closure was a severe blow for many of the locals who worked and travelled on the line. Former Station Master, Fred Nuttall of Wymondham, went down in local folklore by beheading an effigy of the Doctor under the wheels of the 18.42 slow goods train to Peterborough on 9th July 1965, the last ever train on the line. Indeed, to commemorate this event, a glass is raised in memory at the exact time of this heroic but sadly ineffectual act. Fred was a broken man and eventually emigrated to New Zealand, where the economy still relies on steam trains, strange looking birds (kiwi, kakapo, Dame Kiri and their enormous shot-putter) and, of course, dancing cows! Isn’t it weird that everyone speaks of Dr Beeching as if he were Dr Crippin or Dr Harold Shipman – give him a break, he was only doing his job.

Skirting the edge of a muddy field (more on that story later), we headed along the Wymondham Brook which, in turn, lead onto another field. There may have been a flypast from the RAF Red Devils at the weekend but we have our own female branch in the form of Kirsty, Abi and Michelle who, in their matching red shirts, seemed to spend the whole run talking and holding everyone up. Only kidding girls!! I am sure that your improved times are down to one hard cross country run a week.

No fallers for the 8th consecutive run – it used to be so much more fun when Liz used to come and do it for us. I’ve given everyone long enough to spot the deliberate mistake from the Hose Pose report and I don’t think anyone will spot it (probably not even read it!). Although there are at least 13 places called Jackson in the USA, there isn’t one in Texas. Incidentally, Jackson is the state capital of …. , you tell me.

Did anyone notice the 1800 x 600 double-finned convector radiator in the aforementioned Brook? It’s been there for years. Why anybody would take a radiator to the middle of nowhere and throw it in a brook, heaven only knows. Surely it would be much easier to dump it down a country lane with the 3-piece suite, old mattress and the asbestos off the old garage roof? This facility has been made possible by the government’s “Tax what you tip” scheme at the local amenity. The question towards the end was either to follow the Brook or go across the stubble? We took the latter option for three long fields of mud. Action which proved tough-going and made us all ready for a pint.

Quickly changing in the now persistent rain, we headed for the bar where we were served by Sarah. I didn’t really take much notice of her but the lads couldn’t avert their eyes. Apparently she had a pretty face as well! The bar service was a bit slow but who cares? We all had a great night and even though it was raining, we had a lovely view. No toasted peas this week but sandwiches (of the door-stop variety) and chunky chips.

Beer of the week – coffee.

Forgot to mention in last week’s blog that, after many years of trying, Phil finally got his name on the GPS Sweep roll of honour at South Croxton. This week’s winner was Wayne, who also added to his ever-growing glass collection. His living room is open on the last Sunday of the month for any pubs to come and collect their property.

Wayne is really a bit of an Arthur Daley character and was filling us in on many of his scams. He couldn’t say too much as ITV are making a new series with Wayne as Arthur, Jason as Terry (Jason is apparently “well handy”) and Darryl as Dave. Filming to take place at the Winchester Club, formerly Off the Beaten Path. Ian will make a guest appearance as Inspector Chisholm. Anyone fancying a barbeque, bring your own sausages and kebabs.

Christian is the only 100%er and only has to run at the Flying Childers to become a surprise (but popular) winner. I wonder what his prize will be??!!?
[Regards Big Leggy]

Note from C' - I could do with a new car??

Croxton Canter - Rating 4

“Love is in the air, everywhere I look around”.
Unfortunately, everywhere I looked around, there was Darryl skipping, singing, trying to hold my hand and showing his love for me by picking a bunch of poisonous flowers. His behaviour is becoming quite weird at the moment and we will need to be vigilant and watch our backs. On a dull, misty evening we headed across the fields from the pub, where we had a number of parking issues (particularly from Tam, who abandoned his Volvo at a jaunty angle in the middle of the car park – but he’s in the army and that’s okay!).

A mainly cattle-free route towards Queniborough, over some overgrown fields before our first ploughed field, with the mud sticking to our boots (like that stuff!). A bit of respite after a short climb took us to the Ridgemere and the sun began to come out. The views were spectacular, possibly the best of the summer so far. The sun was setting over the Charnwood Hills, clearly defining Syston Church through the mist, with rainbows all around. Where is my camera? Could this route win ‘Best sunset of the year’ award at the Christmas Dinner? Cast your votes in all categories before November 14th.

Over a good selection of muddy ploughed fields, where everyone stuck to their task well before the reward of the last mile on the road.

We thought the excitement was over for the evening but we hadn’t reckoned with Julie and Helen forgetting spare shoes. Not a problem in some of the dives they go to but this was a posh pub with a big sign saying “No muddy boots”. Julie decided on bare feet and asked me to carry her into the bar. This reminded us of last year’s attempt on the “World Wife Carrying Championship”, held annually at Trusskallati, 50 miles north of Helsinki, Finland. Our attempt, although brave, ended as many English effort do, in glorious defeat. The problem of our stance is that some of the obstacles become obscured and Julie can only see where we have been. This year’s champions were Ivan and Ada Cochovatia from Lithuania, whose bizarre technique involved Ada, in front of Ivan, wrapping her legs around his neck and sticking her face between his legs!! This gave Ivan a clear view of everything, allowing them to complete the 500 metre course in just under 7 minutes. Our efforts ended after 100 metres when, unable to see where I was going, I tripped over the 3rd jump resulting in falling into the mud and we were unable to continue after collecting too many time faults. I did point out Ivan and Ada’s method of transportation but Julie said she draws the line there! So it’s just piggy back from now on. The practice on Wednesday of across the car park and down the steps should stand us in good stead for next year.

Excellent atmosphere in the pub, with a couple of nice beers (Adnams and Green King) which seem to be almost commonplace now. Snack of the week – Toasted Peas (I bet Captain Birdseye will be turning in his gravy).
[Regards Big Leggy]

Hose Pose - Rating 7-8

A bright evening once again for the Hose Pose at the Rose, where the Striders got into the spirit of “dressing up”. There was, of course, one or two who didn’t and most of them paid their £2 forfeit (I know who sneaked off alleging poverty). Richard, being a local, felt he couldn’t dress up in his Girl Guide’s outfit in case anyone spotted him. However, next year the Fancy Dress Night will be at a new location just for his benefit, so we look forward to that!

I noticed in the Melton Times on Thursday there was a short piece in the news pages under the headline “Wig Shortage at Discount Store”. This was of obvious interest to me, as 5 Striders turned up in black, curly wigs looking like the Jackson 5. No, not the chart-topping group, who sang such hits as ABC, Rockin’ Robin and Can you feel it? But the notorious group of Mexican racketeers and murdering bank robbers, who were shot by the Texan State Police after a gun battle on the outskirts of Jackson.

Anyway, back to the story. It appears that due to the rush on wigs last week the discount store, where everything is a £1 (I’m unable to mention the store as they haven’t coughed up their advertisement fee) are concerned that they will not have enough stock to cope with demand for the Michael Jackson Pageant and Tribute Show taking place in Egerton Park later this month on, what would have been, his birthday. The route begins at Thorpe End and follows in the footsteps of Michael’s last visit to Melton as a young boy in the late Sixties. With this in mind, the discount store is offering a wig amnesty and, if you return it before Friday, you will get your money back. You can of course save your wig until next year, buy a shell suit and a pitbull and come as a Scouser (you know what I mean, like).

A bit of an altercation took place in the car park, where Ian and Christian had to be separated when their wigs started to mate. Luckily we stopped it in time before it got too messy. Christian’s wig though had to be beaten to death with a stick as it was far too frisky (and there were things living in it!). Stories of Wayne’s slim-line twin brother in Melton appear to be false, however he does seem to have been working out recently, with a tremendous six-pack (although he has become a bitter and twisted man). Where is the old Wayne?

We were sorry to hear that Darryl was unable to join us because of illness. The good news however, was that he was planning to wear a thong, so we were not subjected to that! Phew!! Can you imagine that? Once the thought (and picture!?!) is in your mind, it will remain with you forever. So I’m told. No doubt he would have been locked up and the remainder of us arrested, just for knowing him. On the subject of thongs, Jason wore one on his head, slightly perverse. He obviously threw the instructions away instead of reading them, just like a man would.

There was a tough competition to find the winners of the best dressed (see picture). The contenders were:
Neil - Julius Caesar, with real Roman nose
Wayne - Peter André, slapper hater
Vicki - Serena Williams, complete with an even louder grunt
Kirsty - Fairy, in chafing leotard
Ian - Caveman/Fred Flintstone
Pat & Michelle - 118118
Steve - 70’s porn star
Jason - a ‘thong-as-a-hat’ man
Christian - It/Ossie Osbourne/a Goth (who knows?)
Phil - Uncle Ben (free to a good home)
Ron - Old man with false nose
Jenny - Army deserter

After much deliberation our judge, Ron, decided that Ian and Vicki were the winners, so congratulations to them.

For the first time in many years (if not ever) I had a sackful of entries from members to last week’s quiz. I can’t remember the question but most of the answers were in the 6 – 8 inches range, with one of the girls stating 12 inches!! The closest however, was Dan Archer (alias Stewart Owen) who said 4 inches or 102mm. Well done, Stewart!

A quick mention of the run, which was traffic/bullock free, along a nice track to Dove Cottage and back along the canal, where one or two members of the public were treated to a free fancy dress parade (and Phil flirted with a cyclist).

GPS winner was Jenny. Unfortunately we can’t give her the prize as she was wearing her ipod.

Next outrun is 26th August from The Golden Fleece, South Croxton (see blue card).
[Regards Big Leggy - climbing the Google charts!]

Alternative Hungarton 7 - Rating: 9

A point raised this week by Steve McGarry about the rating needs to be explained. The rating at the top is the waffle content of what is about to follow; the more the waffle, the higher the rating. The actual routes do not get a rating as they are always of the highest quality, meticulously mapped and measured and aimed at providing an interesting run with lots of historical features (both manmade and natural) with a hint of wildlife and the odd field of oil-seed rape.

How great it was to see Darryl back with us and sporting an hilarious tee-shirt which had us rolling about with laughter. Joking apart, he was like a born again off-roader as he quickly headed to the front of the line, setting the pace. Was he still being chased by those grizzly bears? One thought did cross my mind and that was, would he run as fast if he was being chased by a Mountie? As you know, they always get their man!

There seemed to be some uneasiness about the name of the pub “The Black Boy” in these fun-filled days of political correctness. Well, let me put your mind at rest. The fixture list contains a misprint, the pub is called “The Black Buoy” and refers to the black buoys which are used to denote the equator running around the centre of the earth. The first landlord of the pub was Captain Baines (whose grandson appeared on BBC2 in The Onedin Line), who crossed the equator in the early 19th Century and came up with the idea of the buoys, as there was no official landmark or information boards or gift shop with a Starbucks franchise to mark it, as there is today. So it’s not someone off the jam jars after all.

Plenty of livestock tonight, it was like being at the last Royal Show. We first encountered a huge Limousin bull, having a good sniff at a ‘very attractive cow’. We were all stopped in our tracks. Would he lose interest in his possible night of passion and chase us? Putting ourselves (metaphorically) in his position, we thought it unlikely, so headed across the field with one group making up their own course. Its one thing circling around the bull but quite another to run into the next county to avoid him!

Farming Fact No. 1 – The Limousin is a breed from central France and was introduced in Britain in 1971 for its high quality lean beef.

Over the hill heading for the yellow marker, we ran into a number of frisky Shire horses with foals. I am sure you agree that they made a wonderful sight, bringing back those halcyon days of pre-industrial Britain, when the horse was the mainstay of our transport needs and everyone had award-winning rhubarb (atomic number Rb53).

Farming Fact No. 2 – The Shire horse is Britain’s largest horse, weighing around a ton. Stallions can reach 17-18 hands at the withers.

This week’s question: How many inches are equal to a hand?

We were soon back together as we headed into the grounds of Quenby Hall (for more information click on www.quenbyhall). It is not open to the public, though I do recall many years ago visiting Quenby Hall for a charity open day and the carousel I was riding on began to fall apart. We all had to leap off as carousel bits were flying in all directions. Everybody had to shelter under Peggy Mount. (Peggy Mount being the mouthy actress, not the hill rising out of Tilton, part of the Whatborough Hill Range). Quenby Hall produces one of the finest local Stilton Cheeses and is available at Marks & Spencer (that is my third product placement fee in this blog so far). The Hall was also home to an extensive herd of Longhorn cattle, fascinating creatures renowned for their horns, which seem to grow in any direction.

Farming Fact No. 3 – Longhorns originated from Yorkshire and were one of the most popular cattle breeds until the early 19th Century, giving rich milk for butter and producing good beef.

A short road section into Cold Newton picking up the Midshires Way, where we were joined by a herd of stampeding bullocks which ran alongside us (much to Vicki’s delight) for around two fields. Incidentally, Vicki obviously went abroad for her holiday and looked particularly tanned, even more so when she stood next to Julie – it was like the Dark Brown and White Minstrel Show!

Farming Fact No. 4 – The bullocks were a mixture of half-breed Hereford/Friesian crosses and are popular early-maturing beef animals.

Through a short wooded section, still on the Midshires Way, we passed an old derelict train coach. It was in very poor condition, covered in moss and algae and severely vandalised, it looked very sorry for itself. Those of you who took the time to look at it more closely may have noticed the badge of the Southern Railway, with the barely discernable rolling stock number ‘1437’ on one of the doors. Being a railway buff I visited oldrailwaycarriages.org and, on punching in the details, found that this coach was originally made at the Swindon works in 1892, seeing service in the Home Counties well into the 1940’s. I was also interested to find out that the carriage built immediately afterwards (No. 1438), briefly appeared with Jenny Agutter and Bernard Cribbins in “The Railway Children”.

Heading back towards Hungarton, passing some posh semi-detached mansions through a field of British Milksheep (Ovis Domestic).

Farming Fact No. 5 – The British Milksheep is built for easy lambing and has large, strong udders. (I once knew a girl like that).

Back to the pub to get dried off. I’ve gone on and on and not mentioned the weather - it was chucking it down, even so we had a good turnout of 16 hardy runners.

It was Pippa’s last night, so drinks all round. We wish her well in her new career in Walthamstow (first winners of the FA Amateur Cup Final beating Old Etonians 2 – 0).

Julie won the GPS, guessing 6.19 and being only 0.04 off the mark, thus drawing level with Ian.

Beers of the week were Timothy Taylor’s Landlord, Peroni and Amstel. Both lagers served in attractive vases (how Wayne must have wished he’d bunked off work again). There is a rumour that Wayne’s slimmer twin brother has moved to Melton and we look forward to seeing both of them at the Hose Pose.
[Regards Big Leggy]

SOMERBY SLASH - Rating: 2.5

A short version of the blog this week as I have been very busy and, I regret to say, it is over a week late. In the old days it would have been easy to blame the webmaster for the tardiness (what a great word), however, the fault is all mine this time. Now I know many of you will recoil in horror at the prospect of a shortened blog but my memory is not what it was, although I’m pretty sure nothing happened!

We saw the welcome return after a few weeks absence of Di Underwood and Steve McGarry. Pippa brought a bike along, which is a new twist, however it was for her daughter who followed her around her accurately mapped and measured road run, during which they got lost.

As for the main group, Andy was the latest victim of “The Jaggard Switch”, as he went off in the wrong direction, Loz had an episode with some sheep (like father, like son) and we all loved the challenge of the oilseed rape field which, after looking at my map, is the biggest field in Leicestershire.

A totally new course took in the villages of Burrough on the Hill and Owston, before heading back to Somerby on the Leicester Round and back to the pub.

Beers of the week were Summer Sizzler and Rutland Panther, both served in attractive glasses, although with neither Kirsty or Wayne being present, none were taken. There was an interesting discussion as to whether the picture of the panther on the glass was a bear, a deer or a badger!

Winner of the GPS was Ian, for the second time. Answer to the “Farthing” question was: The Wren (Troglodytes troglodytes)

Next Outrun is the Alternative Hungraton 7 from the Black Boy at Hungarton (another new course).

Chicken Run - Rating: 6

Spectacularly hot but debilitating weather and no free food on offer, saw the lowest number of Striders on an Outrun this year. And what a night all the ‘no-shows’ missed! We were awash, over run and, indeed, inundated (not to mention overwhelmed) with chickens. The only problem was, we couldn’t see them. Britain’s mainstay of egg laying and poultry production is the good old Rhode Island Red and these birds can be found on farms up and down the country. Rhode Island reds (along with all domesticated chickens) are descended from the jungle fowl, which is to be found in, the once, dense forests of Asia, which have been decimated by the world’s insatiable desire for timber and palm nut oil. Our chickens have inherited many of the survival instincts of its forebears and the Rhode Island Red is known the world over as the ‘chameleon’ of the bird world. In many august bodies it has been likened to Ray Mears. The slightest sound of an unfamiliar human voice will start them effortlessly into silent running mode and, without a cluck they will crouch down in long grass, blending in with their surroundings until all danger is passed. They then come out of hiding and resume doing what chickens do.

The run was a mixture of good tracks and footpaths to Teigh (home of grey telephone boxes), followed by a road section as far as Ashwell (loadsamoney!), where we took to the fields again, heading for home. It was along here that an incident occurred. A couple of fields were overgrown with rape and thistles, which made running impossible. One or two of the more vertically challenged amongst us were barely visible. It was after the last field that Kirsty announced “I am bleeding!”. Expecting to see a major wound, a team of medical experts were summoned and the Air Ambulance was scrambled. Following a thorough examination of Kirsty’s leg, using the most powerful magnifying glass money can buy, the experts confirmed that there was a speck of blood almost as large as a pin head. Concluding there was nothing to worry about, she should make a full recovery. It is for incidents such as these that we raise money for the Air Ambulance. So next week let’s have some proper money and not copper, washers, euros or pfennigs! A disappointing collection this week raised £5-6s-10¾d (five pounds, six shillings and 10 pennies three farthings)!

This week’s question: Our smallest unit of currency was the farthing and it was phased out in the early Sixties. For 2 points, which bird appeared on the obverse of the coin? For 2 more points, what is its Latin name?

Veni, Vidi, ney pullus... (We came, we saw, ney chicken)

The ‘phone lines have closed in the vote to choose a mascot for the Club. It has been declared a draw, with both candidates (Bison and cheese) polling no votes. I am appalled to think that our grandfather’s fought the Nazi’s to maintain our liberty and freedom and uphold our democratic rights and you, the voters, cannot be bothered to make an effort to choose either of these hardworking mascots. Official figures show that although both candidates polled no votes, the overall turnout was up on previous years.

After ‘naming and shaming’ last week, it is only fair to do the same again this week for those not sharing cars:
Neil - (yes, me!), this was caused by a late withdrawal by Julie, which meant I had to come on my own – sorry, it won’t happen again!
Jason - as usual, say no more,
Richard - straight from work – wonder what he does?
Pippa - Phil, our Club Captain, sent her to Cold Overton. Does everyone get their letters on his round?

Just like to say sorry to Helen. Whilst I am still on to watch the Sound of Music with you, I have eaten the Maltesers and opened the Gnats P—s, it really was what it said on the bottle (had to tip it down the sink!). How many gnats to fill a bottle? (This is not a ‘phone-in).

GPS this week was won by Jason “I swear I didn’t look at my own GPS, honest” Shelton, who guessed 6.45 miles, only 0.03 off the actual distance …..mmmmm! He became the 6th winner this year, with Tam, Ian, Julie, Susie, Lucy and Michelle (sorry, 7th winner).

With the Robinson family unable to join us we only have four 100%ers left – Phil, Helen, myself and Christian. With me not really counting and Phil and Helen off on holiday (not together!), Christian remains the hot favourite to claim the appropriately monogrammed T-shirt.

Nice break for everyone on the 8th, with an easy race at Hungarton. We will meet again for the Somerby Slash over a new course on the 15th July.

Regards Big (cut and scratched) Leggy

Club Handicap Race - Rating 3

A warm, breezy night for the annual Club Handicap Race, which this year was run around the Hambleton Peninsula.

For a major event where there is a trophy on offer, there was a disappointing number of only 20 members who made the trip to Rutland Water, many of whom got lost on the way. This included Kirsty and Helen who are now wondering whether entering the Paris-Dakar Rally was a good idea after all! Last year’s winner, Susie, was unable to defend her title, so a new name will appear on the shield for 2009.

After a number of complaints last year about the handicaps, I decided to relinquish all responsibility this year by getting outside help. I collated all recent race times, with details of terrain and weather conditions and the ages of the entrants. At enormous expense, I passed the information to the Government’s own Finance & Statistics Consultants, Hope, Less and Pants, to provide this year’s times. If you have any issue with the results, please contact the Government direct at Number 10 where, I am sure, you will get waffle, rhetoric and very little else, apart from an offer to set up another committee to discuss the necessity of setting up an inquiry (you know the rest, you’ll end up getting nowhere!). You may as well come to me in the first place, the result will be the same!

Pos - -	Name - -	Finish - -	H/cap - -	Actual
1	Jason	46:50	8:40	38:10
2	Julie	47:44	4:30	43:14
3	Ian	48:47	8:00	40:47
4	Pippa	49:12	6:35	42:37
5	Stewart	49:32	10:45	38:47
6	Loz	49:49	16:45	33.04
7	Jenny	50:10	8:10	42:00
8	Michelle	50:43	0.00	50:43
9	Patrick	50:54	16:00	34:54
10	John	51:14	15:00	36:14
11	Phil	51:19	15:20	36:39
12	Malcy	51:50	14:45	37:05
13	Toby	52:10	16:40	35:30
14	Craig	53:03	16:00	37:03
15	Shaun	53:16	8:40	44:36
16	John S	53:55	4:30	49:25
17	Andy	54:09	15:30	39:39
18	Christian	55:15	16:10	39:05
19	Helen	55:30	11:45	43:45
19	Kirsty	55:00	11:45	43:45

NB – All times start from Michelle (at zero)

May I take this opportunity to apologise to Andy and Christian. Those wasters at Hope, Less & Pants clearly think you are better than you really are and it is for this reason I have informed Theresa not to pay their invoice. If they get all legal about it, I will see them in court, just as soon as I get my suit back from the porn shop (yes, you read it correctly!) . More on that story later.

So, congratulations to Jason Shelton who put in a great performance to win by almost a minute from Julie, who ran consistently all round and finished about 150mtrs in front of Ian, who is now showing signs of getting back into form. Has he stopped drinking with his mate from the Club (whose name escapes me!)?

Run of the night came from Loz, who clocked an impressive 33:04 for the 5.2 mile course. A quick mention for Tam and “My Julie” who were unable to run in the race but ran somewhere together (!??! so they said), with “My Julie” running for over half an hour for the first time. Keep it up – it is obviously helping Tam with his training.

We all went to the Grain Store for a drink afterwards, where ‘Beer of the Day’ was Phipps IPA. The pub entertainment was provided by four old codgers playing smooth jazz – mmmm … nice (look sideways). Our 2 biggest turnouts of the Summer so far have been the ones where free food has been available (at the Wreake Challenge and the Buffalo Run). What does this say about us? I am thinking about telling a whopping fib about an upcoming run, changing the name to the Somerby Banquet, stating there is free food and checking the response!

Wednesday 1st July is the Chicken Run at Market Overton. Free chickens are available if you can catch one!!
[Regards Big Leggy]

Buffalo (Bison) Run

Rating: 7 (As scored by Stuart Holm BSc (Hons) CEnv)

For those of you are under the mistaken impression that the Blog has anything to do with running, I thought I would begin with an in-depth description and analysis of the run itself.
We started at the start, tricked a few people at the first turn, ran across a field with horses in it (in which Pippa had an electric shock off a fence and enjoyed it so much she went back again!), we then got stung, ran up a hill, through some trees and across a field. Still running we went down a road, then a track (where all but 4 of us took a wrong turn) and through the woods (I thought that everyone else had gone to do what bears do!). Myself, Abi, Lucy (who will get another mention) and Michelle (who will also get another mention) went via the correct route and we all met, somehow, at the next turn. Along a track to Wartnaby, before heading back to Bouverie Lodge which has the best view in Leicestershire from the top of the hill. The run was measured at 5.36 miles, with Lucy Underwood winning the GPS, guessing 5.35 miles.

There!! I hope you are all (Christian!) satisfied. It might fill a few lines but it is not as interesting as CAMFABIS. The Campaign For A Bison as a mascot. The petition already has less than one signature and the excitable, outgoing Striders could hardly contain their enthusiasm for the project. The Irish Guards have their Wolfhound, the Black Watch have a Goat, Hereford United have a Bull, so why not a Bison for us? Imagine the look on the faces of our fellow running clubs at the LRRL when Club Captain Phil leads out an enormous Bison to the start line of the Barrow 6. It would be priceless! If there are those of you who think this is inappropriate and is not a fair representation of our Club, Phil could always lead out a fine piece of Stilton on a roller skate.

The answer to the tie breaker is: Bob Marley spent 167 weeks on the singles chart. This may not be the correct answer at time of print as Christian may have altered it to suit his own (unbelievably poor) answer.

**That's it Big Leggy - keep pushing those buttons!

You may recall last week’s question regarding the origins of the name ‘Moscow Farm’? I have had hundreds of replies but one sticks out in my mind as a possibility. It comes from Mr Ivan Ivanov, who now lives in Whissendine. He writes that when he was a small child, he moved from Moscow as part of ‘Uncle’ Joe Stalin’s 5 Year Plan, part of which was to integrate seamlessly into the British way of life. A large collective farm was envisaged on the edge of Great Dalby and a number of Russians, including Ivan and his family, were moved into the area. The idea didn’t take off, as MI5 received a tip-off and, some 15 years later, realised that the name ‘Moscow Farm’ might have been a clue and closed it down. Most of the Russians returned to their homeland. However, the Ivanov’s stayed behind and have a nice cottage in Rutland worth many roubles. Celia has also been looking into the history of Moscow Farm and has found she had a relative who lived there. Is Celia of Russian descent? Watch this space!

The popular ‘Name the TV Series’ quiz was won by Michelle and Patrick, with 26 out of 30. I must reprimand them however on their team name ‘Big Fur Cup’. Michelle seemed a little embarrassed by it, I suspect it was Pat who encouraged her to choose such a name. May I remind them that we are a family Club and this sort of behaviour will not be tolerated. Diane Underwood was banned from entering the quiz. She recently attended another competitive event which included this self-same picture quiz. She did, secretly, have a go and scored 9 (a big improvement), well done Di!

Almost finally, as promised it is name and shame time for those who didn’t share cars (along with their excuses):

* apart from Ivan Ivanov Actually finally, a big thank you to Ruth and George for their wonderful hospitality and food – it was greatly enjoyed and appreciated.

On Wednesday, 24 June we are at Hambleton Peninsula for the Handicap Run. Park at the Fisherman’s car park on the left just before the village of Hambleton. Please remember that whilst I have done my best to ensure the times are fair, I have not got access to the Duckworth-Lewis tables and that the judge’s (i.e. me) decision is final!
[Regards Big Leggy]

Crepes Night - rating: 6

After a marathon blog last week, I feared that my creative writing skills may have been impaired and I would suffer from writers block (which has I am told affected amongst others Jeffrey Archer and Salmon Rushdie), not a bit of it, I am beginning to flow already! Has anybody ever wished they were Oscar Wilde? Not the time when he languished in Reading gaol for heinous crimes against humanity, but for his biting and witty quotations. I came across one the other day which I thought might be appropriate: “I love talking about nothing, it’s the one subject I know everything about.”

Some of you may have noticed in last week’s blog that I used a number of words more than once in the same sentence. This does not show lack of vocabulary. It is more a case of I like a word, so I will use it again. It’s like that Kylie Mynogue song, the one that goes “Na na na, na na na na na na, na na na I just can’t get you outa my head” etc. Hum it a few times, it is really annoying. I recently read a race report in the Melton Times which began “Four intrepid Striders ….” I looked up the word ‘intrepid’ in the OED and it means ‘fearless, brave’. Now I know running the Notts 10 is a challenge but I don’t think you need to be fearless or brave unless, of course, the race begins at midnight and runs through the less salubrious areas of Nottingham!

What lovely crepes on Wednesday night, it’s a shame our regular food critic was, once again, on holiday as I am sure he would have appreciated French cuisine at its best. Tam and “me Julie” went for the full savoury, followed by sweet crepes, whilst the rest of us sampled such delights as lemon, strawberry and cream, ham and cheese and the classic crepe suzette (which I ordered after Celia had bought her own this year!). Can’t say any more but Wayne was up to his old tricks again – more on that story later!

The answer to last week’s question was: 65million years ago – not June 3rd 2009, as all of you answered. Almost a record turnout this week, as 28 of us not only blocked the car park but also the main street as well. It seems we need a reminder about sharing cars – please do so at the BBQ as parking is very limited. We have now reached 43 members who have been on an Outrun (what has happened to Sly?) and still no sign of John Cresswell, can’t understand it!! With 6 100%ers – me, Helen, Phil, Andy, Loz and, most surprising, Christian – have any of you got the staying power? A nice easy run this week took us across the fields to Burrough before heading to Moscow Farm, a big loop with a brisk road section, before heading back towards Thorpe Satchville along a track with a road finish.

Tam was the closest with the GPS guess even though he didn’t run the official distance of 5.98miles. Thanks to all who contributed this week. £14.50 was raised and we have already passed last year’s total. Darryl was way off with a guess of 14.2miles. This week’s question is: Where does the name Moscow Farm originate? (You don’t have to know the answer but any plausible suggestion may be good enough to win this week’s prize which will be on a Russian theme). Please try and use email for your answers as, once again, the Royal Mail was brought to a standstill in the Scalford Road area by the volume of your previous replies – most on postcards but we did have one on a sealed down envelope - obviously sent by a child of the 60’s Blue Peter era!

Record of the week is “Midnight in Moscow” by Kenny Ball and his Jazzmen – No.2 in 1961 – a year most of you won’t remember!! See you all next Wednesday (17th June) at Bouverie Lodge for the BBQ. Please remember to:
• Share cars if you can • Bring your own drinks • Bring a pen for the fun quiz
[Regards Big Leggy]

The No Watch Race

Waffle Rating: 9½

What an eventful evening we had on Wednesday night, with events after the race somewhat overshadowing the nail-biting race itself. Before going to the report, there are a couple of items to clear up from the Skillington Scramble. First, the answer to the quiz question: The King of England was George III, who was the third King called George from the House of Brunswick Hanover and was responsible for losing to America in a straight fight during the American War of Independence. So, well done there Georgie boy!! Secondly, did anyone spot the deliberate mistake? Limestone and sandstone are, in fact, sedimentary rocks and not igneous as stated in the report. Congratulations if you spotted it – look out for this week’s mistake later.

What a complete turnaround this week for the Robinson family. Only 2 weeks ago they were on a high, with 3 counters in the Wreake Challenge and now here we are with the whole family in turmoil. All 3 of them made a *superb effort/pathetic attempt (it’s back!) (*please delete as necessary) to scoop the night’s Booby Prize. Andy coming home in over 14 minutes difference to his predicted time. Not to be outdone, Craig was 16 minutes adrift of his time and was, as it turned out, awarded the Booby Prize prematurely as none of us had reckoned on Loz’s determination to scoop the prize. Through half way in 2nd place, Loz was not far behind Chris and he looked sure to win the Booby prize by being way under his time. However, following clear instructions at the start of the race as to which way to go at the end of the disused railway section, Loz was the only one to hear me say “At the end of the railway line, turn left, go back up the hill, do not look back or stop and think ‘I should be back by now’, continue running until you reach the coast where there will be a small boat waiting to take you to France”.

Loz the explorer! Click here

The search parties were sent to all points of the compass. How I wished Andy had passed on his map reading skills to Loz. An hour passed and still no sign. During the search, I flagged down a motorist who said that she hadn’t seen our young runner but asked me if I had seen her daughter who was out on her horse? Me, being me, put 2 + 2 together and made 5, began to wonder if the pair of them had ridden off into the sunset and Loz had found love and true happiness in the Vale of Belvoir (pronounced beaver). He was eventually found and returned to the fold.

We may have to provide counselling, not for Loz but for me. The pain and anguish cannot be described, as it is the nearest I have ever come to “losing one”. One of my favourite sayings is “You cannot get lost in Leicestershire”. From now on I will add “ … unless you have a brain the size of a Stegosaurus”. I don’t mean the size of the Stegosaurus, that would be ridiculous as it was a plated dinosaur reaching lengths of 25 feet. No, I mean the size of its brain which, according to experts (what do they know?!), was the size of a walnut. I hope that’s clear. I should have just said “walnut” in the first place and not mentioned Stegosaurus at all. This week’s question: In what era did the Stegosaurus roam the Vale of Belvoir?

To the regular cross country runner, altitude (and indeed attitude) and distance are a complete irrelevance in the time and space continuum (!?!) and it doesn’t matter how far you have run, as long as you enjoy it. Darryl, however, will not let it go. Is it because he is different? He certainly isn’t a vegetarian, as he tucked into what looked like an extremely tasty Rutland Burger. It was a big night for our hitherto vegetarian runners, many of whom “came out”. Well done to you all! Gone are the old taboos of the Victorian age and vegetarians can now integrate with normal people and become respectable members of society. (As an aside, years ago I did go out with a girl who told me she was vegetarian but I found out that she wasn’t as she still liked sausage).

Many of you were asking how far the run was and I indicated it was 5.8 miles, accurately measured by shoe laces. I must apologise now to those of you who thought you had a good run, as I made an elementary measuring error. In an attempt to show Darryl the accurate course measurement, I used laces from a size 12 trainer and not the recognised industry, European and IAAF standard laces from a size 9. This means that the distance can vary by up to 0.5 of a mile either way before any conversions to rods, poles or perches! Sorry for any confusion. I still think all of you ran well (apart from Darryl and the Robinson Family). The race itself was an exciting affair, with Chris first home in 36:24, just 1:36 off his time (if only he had done a few more stretches around the corner, he may have won). As it turned out, he held the lead for about 10 minutes before Tam came in only 25 seconds outside his estimated 42:00 prediction. The rest of the runners came in outside of Tam’s time, leaving only first timers Paddy and Tracie (‘ie’, that’s posh!) in with a chance. Tracie came home in 1:12 outside her predicted time, leaving Tam a worthy winner and pushing Chris into 3rd place. Tam now joins Steve McGarry, Stuart Owen, Julie Jaggard and John Whatsisname as winners of the ‘No Watch Race’.

Thanks to all 24 of you who turned up for another good night’s entertainment. We will reconvene on Wednesday 10 June at Thorpe Satchville. I will take numbers for the BBQ as it is the last chance to do so. Hope that you have/had good runs at Swithland. The times from the race will form the basis for handicap times later in the month.
Regards Big Leggy (God, I love this job!)

Skillington Scramble - rating 6

Wed 13th May 09 - Congratulations this week to the 4 drivers who gave lifts to other runners, thus avoiding blocking the non-existent car parks at both Skillington pubs – we seem to be getting the idea!
A delicious irony this week in the GPS Sweep – Susie, who had previously boycotted our fund-raising efforts, happily (some may say cheerfully), paid her 50p before confidently guessing the distance to be 8.2 miles and, lo and behold, was spot on!! Unfortunately for her she wasn’t able to stay for a drink and, as the rule I have just made up states, you only have 5 seconds to claim your prize after the result is announced. Failing that, the money will be donated to charity – therefore, the money was donated to charity (Air Ambulance). Thanks to Susie and all who joined in this week, especially our latest ‘Outrunners’, Jenny and Pippa, who both thought it was excellent value. GPS Update: Celia, Ian, Susie all level on 1 run each after 3 runs.

Twelve 100%ers are still on course for a (minor) prize and 35 members have been out this summer. Apart from Pippa and Jenny, we had another new off-roader, the gregarious (not to mention gay), elderly gentleman and owner of an eating house of high renown*, Darryl. *Oops, nearly said ill-repute! After many years of pounding the Wednesday night roads alone, the call of the fields was too much to resist and he joined us. Just one look at his smiling face and jolly countenance and we could all see just how much he enjoyed it, especially the field of long, wet grass. No animals this week, apart from the odd hare, or was it a rabbit? I say this, as a recent survey carried out by Natural England found that 22% of people could not identify a hare, with 1 in 8 people thinking it was a deer!! (They obviously haven’t seen the rather interesting, and not in the least bit tedious, race report from the Cotgrave 10K).

Just sign off this week with a bit of local history as Jason seems to be sadly lacking in this department. Horny Quarry, between Saltby and Sproxton, has (according to village records) been in existence since the late 18th Century. The metamorphic rock found in the quarry consists of sandstone, limestone and alluvial brash, all of which have many uses, including rock for rockeries. With the advent of the railways in the early 19th Century, much of the rock was transported along the Mowbray Way to be used as ballast on the track beds of the local ironstone railways at Ponton, Eaton and Hungarton in the Weald. The quarry is still in use to this day and is, in fact, owned by the same family who made the initial limestone strike all those years ago in 1785. This week’s quiz question: Who was King of England at the time?

The local airfield at Saltby was established in the mid 1920’s, where it was at the forefront of local airfield design, being used for both take-off and landing for many years (!). If you have an interest in local history, why not email me at the usual address and I will include your item on the following week’s blog.
Beer of the week was Reverend James, a happy beer brewed by Brains in Cardiff. [Big Leggy]

Like a Bolt out of the blue, thanks for reminding me!

Knossington Knobbler - rating 4

Wed 6th May 09 - The skill, know-how and resourcefulness of the Stilton Striders never ceases to amaze me and, indeed, everyone in the world! Putting aside the rest of the events of the night which, when put into context, are of little consequence compared to the sheep rescue orchestrated by Andy Robinsdon. When we saw him grab hold of the sheep, we imagined it was the ‘Cumbrian’ in him and he was longing to recall those long days and lonely nights out on the fells and we thought he wanted to be alone with Dolly. But as soon as he said her foot and neck were caught in some wire, the might of the Stilton Striders Rescue Team sprang into action and, without the aid of tools or wire cutters, Dolly was extracted in a matter of minutes (much to the relief of the gathered sightsee-ers. Thinking that was the end of the drama, the main group headed off into the woods, leaving myself, Chris, Susie and Abi to check that Dolly would make it back to the main flock. Her plaintive cries could be heard as she desperately searched for an opening in the fence to join the rest of the flock. Chris, who obviously watches too much ‘One Man and his Dog’ (originally fronted by the legendary Phil Drabble and latterly the suspect Ben Fogle) set off in a wide arc, gaining 9/10 for the lift as he began his ‘drive’. Dolly made her way along the fence to the gate at the top of the hill. We all had a lovely warm feeling inside at the success of our mission but it is all in a day’s work for the SSRT. This week’s burning question concerns Richard. On a very warm night did he forget his shorts or is he part of the Phil Douglas tribute act? A new feature this week was ‘Guest map Reader and Expedition Leader’. After his success in getting most of you lost last week, Andy took on this very important role. I am pleased to inform him that he has passed his Key Stage I Map Reading Course (anyone with children will know how tricky Key Stage I is!). As he is not yet ready to gain a higher qualification, next week’s map reader could be one of you. Emma Brown has already expressed an interest – Go Emma!!

Last week we had an excerpt from the horror novel ‘Cows’, this week is the long-awaited sequel ‘The Farm of the Damned’. Situated in the lonely village of Withcote, population unknown, we gathered at a farm entrance situated on the Leicester Round. Is that the reason we can never get a team for the Leicester Round Relay? I had run through this farm alone a couple of weeks earlier and, having spoken to some locals at the pub, it dawned on me that I had probably had a lucky escape! It was a Friday night and that is Devil Worship Evening – phew! It was essential that we counted everyone in and everyone out – I haven’t lost one yet!! A row of colts was standing between the field of runners but a’whooping and a’hollering, John Wayne style, cleared the way. Just as we began to climb the stile, we noticed an Alsation, which appeared to be a bit long in the tooth and it made a pathetic attempt (3rd week!) to rise from it’s evening nap before giving up and letting us through. It was feeding time for the horses but some looked as if they were destined for the pet-food trade. We were greeted to a cheery “Hello!” by two people of an indeterminate gender. Continuing on through the farm, with low-flying crows and sleek fast-running rats as big as cats, we sprinted to self-opening gates (spooky) to emerge unscathed. To be left behind would be like being suspended in purgatory for the rest of your unnatural life to infinity and beyond.

We then rescued the sheep, the girls reunited 2 lambs with their mothers and we finished with a short road section back to the pub. Hearty cheers to all who contributed to the GPS Sweep and a loud Boo to all those who didn’t – the money is not for me, it is for the Air Ambulance – hope that they, and the rest of us, don’t ever need it! After being miles off last week, Ian was this week’s winner.
Regards Big Leggy

Ashby Amble – rating 7

Wed 29th April 09 - How long is a piece of string? I know it is an odd way to begin the long-awaited and much-anticipated Summer Run Blog but it is a question that needs a definitive answer. I am not yet in possession of a GPS and I am not sure whether I need or even want one but for the GPS Sweep it would be useful. As many of you now have them I have to rely on your trust and integrity that you won’t take a sneaky look at the end in a pathetic attempt (this is a phrase I have used for the second consecutive week and I may try and include it every week. If there is a saying or favourite phrase you would like including on your behalf, let me know – things like, “the lithe, athletic, brilliant runner and skilled chef, Darryl Woolward” will not be considered!) to get their name on the Leader Board. One of our blonde runners, Emma Gane (whose name escapes me) asked me how far the run was and, on being told that I had measured it accurately using a ball of string, she genuinely believed I had been around the whole course with an enormous ball of string - some 7 miles long which I nailed to the pub door before trailing across the countryside. I know some of you think I have a lot of time on my hands but that is taking it too far. We all wish Emma well in her new job in Brighton (which is 186 miles away) this is just a guess as I was stopped by Police while pushing a ball of string down the M25.

The warm, sunny weather had brought out 28 runners to our first Outrun and we formed a funnel with bunting and a guard of honour with crossed trainers for our conquering London marathon heroes. Setting off through the village of Ashby Folville, we headed across the fields towards Twyford, along the brook and through the old cricket ground before reaching our first re-grouping in Twyford near the old pub. Down a recently formed jitty, past some local authority housing, where there was a very nice Ford Cortina Mark II Ghia for sale at a competitive price. We were now getting quite strung out but on entering a field of cows, the slower runners suddenly found some speed and overtook the main field. Referring back to one of the most popular and informative reports from 2002. A cow is a herbivore and eats grass not human flesh (except in the Stephen King horror novel ‘Cows’ but this wasn’t real). They can attain speeds of up to 20mph over short distances and Health and Safety Risk Assessments recommend you do not stand in front of stampeding bullocks (or, indeed, stampeding rhinos, elephants and tacky tigers – “This town ain’t big enough for the both of us” Sparks No.2 1974). You would think that after 10 or more years of Summer Outruns there would be some of you who can:

(a) follow instructions (b) spot a yellow marker (c) see a well-defined footpath (d) read a map (e) there isn’t an (e) (f) same as (e)

or is it just maybe you were trying to lose me as I waited and waited and waited for Julie and Celia who appeared to be out for a stroll and a chat. No offence! The three of us now had a good lead while the rest made up their own route, it was like the hare and the tortoise (animals again, these reports are like Zoowatch) or the paperchase in ‘The Railway Children’ where the wet lad broke his leg, very sad. As we crested the hill into Thorpe Satchville, a stream of disoriented runners came into view and we all re-grouped again for the homeward stretch. The only issue was for some horses (see previous para about their eating habits which are similar to cows, however they are faster – except for the ones I pick for the Derby!).

Back to the pub for a well-earned pint where we and many others were asked to pay homage to the god ‘Football’. We have come a long way since Frankie said “Sex and horror were the new gods of the 80’s”. The GPS Sweep, once again, proved popular and raised £12.50. Some of our northern friends did not join in the fun this week but allegations that northeners are careful with their money are totally unfounded. Darryl decided to take part in our ‘Pay-up-front-for-the-whole-year’ Scheme. This will enable you to have a go even when you are not there. Our aim is £200 for the year. This week’s run was measured by Global Positioning String at 6.45 miles and the winner was Celia, guessing 6.43 miles. Ian obviously thinks he runs faster than he actually does and guessed 7.89 miles! Please share cars next week for the Knossington Knobbler, as there is no car park. Plenty of parking in the village on the Owston Road though. We are asking for pledges of food for the Wreake Challenge on May 20th i.e. cakes, jelly, sandwiches, jelly, sausage rolls, jelly for the after run buffet. I have a list, please see me a.s.a.p., I’ll bring the list on Wednesday.
Regards – Big Leggy